When the heart smiles......yes, from the inside.

There is a little smile on my face, a smile that you get when you are amused, something like that.

I didn't notice it at first but, I realized it when I actually had something to smile about,
And guess what? I was already smiling, all the way along.

I am on my way home from work, riding on the streets of Pune, post the first rain of the season. People seem gloomy. Strange, eh.
They say, "Laugh and the world laughs with you". Untrue, apparently.

A cute Marwari aunty is waiting for the bus. I look at her and she glances back as if screaming, "What is wrong with you? Why are you smiling?"

Sure, it has rained for the first time this year.
Such a respite from the hell heat. It feels a lot cooler.
The entire planet seems greener.
Birds are more audible now.
I wait all the year round for this season.
And A smile is odd ?
At strangers, why is smiling odd, and keeping a bland straight face normal ?
I won't get it probably...
As 'someone' said, I am too immature for my age. Brains of a 3-year old, that I've got.
Never mind, she might be having problems in her life, much bigger than I have or had.
God bless you, cute aunty...


I pass buses, tempos, bikes, cars, everyone in some kind of a hurry to get home.
Some might have to go somewhere urgently, some might be having some commitments, some might just be plain irritated of the fact that they were actually getting drenched in the first pour of the season. A few hours ago, a wonderful young lady I know, peeked through the window and cheered, "Yay, it's raining. Monsoon has officially arrived.",
only to complain a while later, "I wanna go home. Stupid rains."
DUH.....Again, maybe I am too self-centered to understand.

So, I pass the road after a full 30 minutes, where it would've taken me only a couple of minutes otherwise on a dry day (lol). But Boy, did I enjoy those minutes.
Watching people, thinking about the happiness that there is, astonished at the contentment that I felt...
WHOA !!! Absent minded driving ! Wet roads +  sluggish driving can be dangerous.
Careful, son.

And then I reached this bridge. A river (read Gutter in India) passes under.
Sunset view is great from here. But today, there was no sun. Still, I stopped.
Parked my bike to the side and just stood there. Staring...back to the music of my mind.

An hazy shadow of the sun peaks through the clouds,
100 year old trees are lined up along the banks of the river...looking greener this time round, the water level is higher and also clearer, the usual reek is replaced by a sweet smell of the rain-kissed mud...the 150 year old mammoth British structure mildly vibrates with the passing vehicles..

A few bhutta and kurmure waalas have cropped up from nowhere, a couple is buying just ONE  piece of corn from him..[ :-) ]...no second thoughts on where they'll throw the leftover, a-holes...another one in the distant park on my left is engaged in ....again, [ :-) ]

The river is pure, never mind the little filth and the little stench...
The weather is calm, never mind the traffic jams, and the small problems to follow
The noises subside in the background and there is utter silence, never mind the rattling buses and cars behind...

And I just stare at the horizon...
The mild drops of the subsided rain percolate through my skin,
slowly cleaning me from the inside, brushing off the black that was...
leaving me clean as I can be...

My arms feel heavy...I drop my 3 kg shoulder bag, and keep it aside.
Without thinking a word...I just stared

Silence !!
Just plain silence....

And there it hit me..
Just the way it hits you when you ride at 70, it gets under your shirt and glides coolly through your skin. That was the velocity of the wind that there was...
Bliss.....

That's the way it is, I think.
There exist no problems, only events that happen. It's just how you view them.
You either draw happiness out of the little minuscule events that happen around you,
or wait endlessly for that torrent of happiness to sweep you off your feet, be it getting the dream college, for the dream girl to finally say yes, for the pay hike,for the promotion,for the approval on the tender that you applied for.....

Does everything that excites, amazes, relaxes, awestrucks, calms or simply makes you smile has to be a biggie ?
What is the big deal with a big deal ?

It's so simple to be happy, but so difficult to be simple. Remember ?

Hmm, but I DO HAVE one big deal, lying there in the bag that I had kept aside.
My very own torrent of happiness.
Not a torrent actually, rather a small stream of water..but still,
water anyways....

MY FIRST PAYCHECK !!

I had got quite a few job offers till now.Everyone had one or the other glitch associated with it. Some got hit by recession, some lost major projects at hand, some asked for a heavy 2 year bond, some didn't pay enough...I even joined one, but left within a week.

And then out of nowhere, I went for this one, and joined in the next day.
One that is not particularly related to my field, one that pays me a bit lesser than my peers..
But the one that gives me a smile as I get home everyday.

I wanted to fall for the easy way out.
All I had to do was pack my bags,  live in the sweetest place on earth, stay in a home with the people I love, have the best food in the world twice a day cooked by the woman I love the most..and join my dad with his work.
I will eventually, but there is time...

Till then, this is the small bite of happiness that I will enjoy....

A small 'V' of birds fly past me...wonderfully maintaining their rhythm in the harsh winds and the little downpour. One particular bird is especially left behind, every-time...violently flapping his wings, trying to cope up with his peers...
The group soon disappears in the mist...

I spot an eagle after a while, just lying there, as if weightless...
He didn't flutter like the others, he was just there, sailing atop the air currents...
Watching the birds and the world from above,
Much much above...

An eagle soars in the sky,
        Way higher than the herd of birds that fly,
                   No peers with him to look up to,
                           Merely gliding with his span of wings, he flew...
                                             
The silence recedes....the cars, the buses and their honking continues all over again...

But the 'smile' is back...and will be so till quite some time...
Amen !!